Only Son?

[BowlingBallBagBob]

If we are all God's children what was so special about Jesus?

[Mad Hatter]

the thing that is so special about Jesus is that he achieved something that no one else could do.

You see Pat, Jesus was not only our personal savior, but a heroic time traveller from the future. Jesus comes from the apocalypse (Revalations) which is a land of dragons and giant whores. In order for him to save our time, he had to go back to the past and prevent Judgement Day from happening. So he travelled back as Gabriel Connor the angel and planted his DNA into the womb of a woman and was born.

When his past self became of age, he would constantly warn him of upcoming sneak attacks and help him perform Miracles with an invisible stealth suit. Together the duo went performing miracles for everyone.

But Past Jesus knew what he had to do. He had to sacrifice himself so that Future Jesus could perform one last miracle and save us from our future.
By becoming famous and feared by the Pharisee, they blindly freed Tupac instead of Jesus at the trial. Tupac would later go on to start the Dragon Slayer Bloodline but that is another story.

Three days after Past Jesus died, Future Jesus emerged from the tomb using his time machine and told his disciples to work with the Dragon Slayers to save the future.

Also see: Jesus, the Civil War Hero for more information on this.

[Sheriff_Gauncent]

Yes Hatter, you got some of that right. Jesus did achieve something no one else did in his time....

You see, Jesus was the son of God given to Joseph and Mary. Mary and Joseph were drug addicts and Mary swore she never slept around. Mary and Joseph also owned a XXX porn shop that they sold their drugs from out of the back door. Mary had Joseph convinced that Jesus came from a higher power because of all the drugs and lack of sleep and swore that she never cheated on him. Jesus worked as a jizz mopper at the store in the video arcade. After the local authorities of Bethlehem busted the porn shop. They seized all the assets of Joseph and Mary which included the porn shop and their clay adobe hut cave in which they lived in. They were charged with felony drug possession and felony tax evasion and were taken into custody.

Jesus, being left homeless, was left with no parents, no home, one terrible outfit and his dirty jizzmops, went about his travels. Jesus found a stick and a rock and tied them together with his jizzmops and called it a hammer and so decided to call himself a carpenter. Wandering through the desert with said hammer, Jesus discovered peyote from a man called Ezeikel. Jesus and Ezekiel tripped around looking for jobs high on peyote for many moons. After doing some really shitty woodwork for a patio they were hired to do and were fired, they decided to sell their peyote to the Jews. They cut their peyote with rat poison that the Jews obviously noticed and decided to give Jesus his "right of passage".

Ezeikel was left to be taken to the stars by the greys.

I saw the whole thing happen! The thing is is that I don't know if it was past Jesus or future Jesus.

Or maybe I just had a seizure.

[seneca]

Mad and Sherrif you guys are going to burn in Hell!!
You are talking about Jesus our Saviour. I mean he saved me the other day. He mows lawns in my neighborhood and I was running from the police and he said Hey amigo (that is how the jews talk) you needs help, and I nodded. So he gave me a big floppy hat and some pruning shears and I went over to the bushes. When the Policia came and they asked JESUS if he had seen me he said "me no speak no engles" So see he is a savior you blasphomous hell mongers!

Oh and Mad your story sounds like back to the future - where is Michael J. Fox?? LOL

[Sheriff_Gauncent]

So today is Passover.

Anyone have any big plans for Jesus' big day?